OK Rob... for your eyes only...
LUCAS ELECTRONICS
The Lucas Electric motto: "Get home before dark."
Lucas Electric Products, Makers of the “The Original Anti-Theft Device”.
Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
Lucas denies having invented darkness itself, but they still claim inventing "sudden, unexpected darkness."
The Three-Position Lucas Switch - DIM, FLICKER and OFF. Three other switch settings available are SMOKE, SMOLDER and IGNITE.
"I've had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never experienced any prob...
If Lucas made guns, wars would not start either.
Did you hear about the Lucas powered torpedo? It sank.
It's not true that Lucas, in 1947, tried to get Parliament to repeal Ohm's Law. They withdrew their efforts when they met too much resistance.
[FONT="] Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night, since they all look the same?" He replied, “It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens!"
Back in the '70s Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which didn't suck.
Quality Assurance phoned and advised the Lucas Engineering Staff that they had trouble with their designs shorting out. So they made the wires longer.
Why do the English drink warm beer? Lucas also makes refrigerators.
Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.
Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb.
Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times sunwise around your car chanting: "Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant."
Most would be surprised to know that Lucas Systems actually use AC current, rather than DC; they just have a rather random frequency.
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