With the Holidays just around the corner...

usta in Portland

Daily Driver
please note this helpful dieting hint if things get out of hand.:laugh::woot:


As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.
For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.
Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat, the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.
Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.
Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream. We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.
Happy eating!
 
There seems to be a rather significant mathematical equation missing. However, as they say, don't let the facts get in the way of pizza and ice cream.:nod:
 
It's not a perfect theory...

but it sounds scientific (sort of) and does get something from each of the three main food groups:laugh:
 
Hey, USTA mate...........!!

Your quote "We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet."

That's EXACTLY what my g/friend and I eat for dinner EVERY Friday night when lounging out on the sundeck!!!
We keep tellin' ourselves that's what we need to eat to maintain our "Angie and Brad Pitt" images!! :dance:
BUTTTTT (subtle hint there)............our guts and hips seem to be getting tubbier!!! :shock2:
Could it be a scientific fact, that because we live in the SOUTHERN hemisphere, all that stuff we are eating goes DOWNHILL, whereas you guys in the NORTHERN hemisphere stay seriously fit and healthy with it??
Or maybe...........we should stand on our heads when eating it??? :hmm:
Waddya think, mate???

cheers, Ian - NZ
 
Your quote "We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet."

That's EXACTLY what my g/friend and I eat for dinner EVERY Friday night when lounging out on the sundeck!!!
We keep tellin' ourselves that's what we need to eat to maintain our "Angie and Brad Pitt" images!! :dance:
BUTTTTT (subtle hint there)............our guts and hips seem to be getting tubbier!!! :shock2:
Could it be a scientific fact, that because we live in the SOUTHERN hemisphere, all that stuff we are eating goes DOWNHILL, whereas you guys in the NORTHERN hemisphere stay seriously fit and healthy with it??
Or maybe...........we should stand on our heads when eating it??? :hmm:
Waddya think, mate???

cheers, Ian - NZ

I think one trip to an American Walmart would go along way towards disproving that theory.:shock2:
 
Lawso .....

Last time I set my blinnies on yer missus she wuz wider than a London bus (admittedly gorgeous because of 'er tattoos in surprising locations tho'). She still adherin' to the British Diet of meat pies, black pudding and ten pints of best bitter each night?

Give her me love and confirm the delivery of a case of Bury Puddings next Saturday week.
Don't ferget, me old mukka - just because she's large, it don't matter 'cos there's just so much more to love! :love: :heart: :heart:
 
Best keep ya head down, Pottsy mate.......!!

.....Last time I set my blinnies on yer missus she wuz wider than a London bus..... :

.......when I woz reading your last posting, I didn't realise Girlie woz lookin' over my shoulder sticky-beakin' at it too!! :shock2:
When she read your bit about "a London bus", she stormed out of our little luv-nest swearing and saying "I'll fix that pommy Pottsy right now!"
I heard her callin' UK on her mobile (jeez, more $$$$$) and talkin' to her old girly-buddy Meg the Peg! You must remember Meg - skinny as a rake, and EVIL, mate, EVIL!!
I reckon Girlie has probably teed up Meg to ruff you up a bit, Pottsy!
Take my advice, mate - don't go anywhere near the Hog's Breath pub (Meg's fave waterin' hole) for a few months - Meg was always a bit "lively" with a few G. n' T.'s down her scrawny throat, and if she sees ya, she might just lift one of her pointy-toe shoes at your 'crackers 'n cheese'. :shock:
In the meantime, Pottsy, I've now gotta simmer Girlie down and tell her she still looks like Lady Gaga!! :help:

cheers, mate - Ian, NZ
 
Lady Ga-Ga?

What - she wears uncooked slices of New Zealand lamb and chops?
Sounds delish. When you get the boiler stoked on Saturday night (careful Pottsy - moderator) does she cook 'em?
Anyhow, Meg's a munter mate. She rarely comes out before nightfall and I rarely hit the cobbles after seven in the evening, so we's not likely to bump into each other, especially as you can hear her clickity-thump from four city blocks away! Thanks for the heads-up on that one bro'.

Truth is, she was diagnosed bi-polar some while back and has been as good as gold ever since had, (apart from Three Fingers Freddy trying it on - now known as Two Fingers Freddy), her run-in with Sharon at the Dog and the following Court Order for trick cyclist reports into her anti-social outbursts. Word is she bit a male warder in his loose change and they chemical coshed her. Took 30mls of tripethazone (15mls is used by vets to sedate larger pachyderms when removing diseased tusks) before she could be forced into her warm body wrap. She controls her dosage from a syringe-pump that was modified by a mechanic for an F1 offshore power boat team, and volume is no problem as an empty 3 litre bottle of Frosty Jack 10% cider is strapped to her left stump. The call her Sister Meg now 'cos' she's always smiling ....:angel:

Anyway, yer missus knows I'm only foolin'. Me and her got really :censored::censored::censored: nails trimmed :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: relief :censored::censored::censored::censored: Anchor butter :censored::censored::censored::censored: upside down :censored::censored::censored::censored: a bit of an itch :censored::censored::censored::censored::censored: you could hear her in Blackpool :censored::censored::censored: arab :censored: tighter than a mouses' :censored::censored::censored: stains will come out with turps :censored::censored::censored::censored: (Moderator - careful Pottsy - you've been warned!) before you got back that night from the Dog with her usual nightcap (two bottles of white rum and one of Polish rough vodka - 140deg proof).

Let me know how she's doing will yer? Eight months gone now by my calculation. Missed you both since you waved bye-bye from the back of the Council dump truck in April. Just tickle her behind her :censored: (Third and final warning! - Moderator) and she'll be camembert in your claws! :wink2:
 
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Har, har, no worries there, bruvva.........!!

.....Let me know how she's doing will yer? Eight months gone now by my calculation.....

.......when I put it to Girlie about your "little altercation" with her that night, she burst out larfin', mate!
She said to me "you tell that Pottsy mate of yours, sweet'art, that when I saw the :censored: of his :censored:, I couldn't help myself from larfin' me 'ead orf! I said to that Pottsy - 'ere luvva boy, I've seen bigger :censored: on dead dogs, mate! I fink u better go home 'n get one of those :censored: mags from under your bed to have a :censored: with!!"
So Pottsy, it seems that there ain't no fear about any 'little Dave's' poppin' their heads up in this neck o' the woods in the near future, mate!! :devil:
But Girlie did tell me that Meg the Peg has got a bit of a heart flutter for ya, Pottsy! Seems she's a bit 'famous' for doin' fancy tricks with that peg-leg of hers when :censored: :censored: :censored:!! :eek:

cheers buddy, Ian - NZ
 
Awww c'mon mate ....

Let the dog see the rabbit. Yure missus an' me were just jake before you both skedaddled to Kiwiland. I ain't makin' trouble where non exists but she loved the attentions of my mini-me.
I can cope wiv me offsprung being cross breeds but to say we 'ad no passion is a clout too far!
 
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